Friday, 27 July 2012

Hello Mr Caterpillar!





My strawberries are amazing, as big as tomatoes, even the caterpillars that enjoy eating them so much can't eat all of them so have left me a few.  My thanks to the Caterpillar!! (I have a picture in my head of a caterpillar sitting on a sofa with his feet up one hand rubbing a bit swollen belly full of my strawberries, while he reads the newspaper!)

So this morning my DH has been packed off to work and Amazing Son is still in bed,  I am sat in the garden still in my night shirt nursing a cold cup of coffee (again i hate cold anythings) contemplating getting up and refreshing my coffee but i find myself stuck, my back has locked and my body is telling me not to move because it will hurt! Thank Goodness i brought Netty Netbook with me when i brought my coffee out else I would be stuck and bored!!

My meds should kick in soon and allow me to move again - so bless you - you can stop panicking, its under control (I think!) but thank you for worrying!  

As we are in my lovely garden would you like me to walk you  (metaphorically speaking!) through it? 

I love my garden, I love the smells and the sounds! I'm not known for my green fingers but this garden has grown on me.....  HAHAHA did you see what i did there, grown on me! I do make myself giggle!! (that might be my meds sorry!)

Inherited Dog is laying betweeen two troughs (were i house my strawberries and tomatoes) waiting for a leaf (he thinks its a frog!) to make a run for it! funny!! He has been stalking the same leaf for about a week now and i could watch him for hours, he creeps up arching his body so that he is streamlined - his tail sticking out to a point, ears pricked ready to hear the smallest of noises and then he walks deliberately and slowly never taking his eyes of the leaf (frog!) in case it moves!! When he reaches a position closest to the leaf (frog!) he lays down very carefully with his face resting on his paws in front of him, just waiting . . . . . . . . . . . . he's been waiting since about last Saturday for the leaf (frog!) to do something, anything (!!), but patiently Inherited Dog waits!! did i tell you he was funny! Occassionaly he will cry or winge at it but never leaves it!!

I have as I said tomatoes and strawberries and up until two days ago i had carrots (which looked lovely and juicy!) but for some reason Amazing Son pulled them up and they died!!  I had radish too (they are in the fridge!) very tasty!   The Chives are doing very nicely as are the Chillies (they are begining to look very tasty indeed!)  My Lavender has gone nuts as has my Rosemary, they are both threatening to take over the garden, Rosemary lives in the front garden too and i think in the Spring i will need to cut her back!! She's huge!

DH's pond (if i dont clean it then it's not mine!!) which is home to about 20 fish all different ages and sizes.  Swimming happily and if you put your finger in the water (well you might want to!) they come up and suck on it thinking it might be food!  It feels very strange but there you go, a fish has sucked on my finger!  We only have one of DH's dads' fish (that we rescued from his pond) left, they keep dying! (maybe there's a message in there somewhere!), we had a lovely white carp but perhaps the heron had him, because he just vanished.  So now we are down to one rescued fish from DH's dads pond.  I hope he stays with us for a while, its like having a piece of dad with us.  Silly!

I love my little patch of grass, i water it and mow it, seed it and feed it! obsessed!! No! Its just that when we first moved into the house we said "the house is mine and you being the man get the shed and the gardens! They are your responsibility! Now go forth and look after!!" but since i am now house bound and DH is working every hour there is, I have taken on responsibility for the house and the gardens and Amazing Son takes care of the shed!! Sorted! So it is a matter of pride when DH says mmmmme I would have done it this way or i would have done that way! Raising my eyebrow in defiance, I smile sweetly and then tell him to ssshhe!! 

So that's my garden, small and sweet although we have decking and a patio area so not as little as i made out!

I think i can move now without causing myself too much damage so i shall sign off and waddle indoors!  I really need a coffee now, then to get ready for the day!

Have a great day and speak soon x     

N.B.  I should have said i hope you all enjoy the opening celebrations for the Olympics x




Thursday, 19 July 2012

A Little Longer Than Normal - Sorry 'Bout That!


I should have written sooner!


Hi there it's been a while since i last wrote on here and for that i apologise.  That sounded like i was going to confession!   What interesting amazing and funny stories have i to tell you? Well honestly after giving it some serious, temple tapping thought, i still have nothing!  I have nothing other than the normal lifey things to tell you.  I feel like i should feel bad or be more apologetic about not having much to tell you but well i don't and if you could see me now i am poking my tongue out at you!! Tonight there are no real life dramas or funny "i remember when's!"   Tonight i am just waffling! 


Where to start ERM!!!??? shuffling my thinking cap and tapping my temple again!  Well shall we begin with the weather! Don't misunderstand me I'm not one to sit in the sun all day BUT i do like to get my washing dry and having a coffee or peppermint tea whilst discussing the day with Inherited Dog has become a national pastime but with all this rain we find ourselves under house arrest and i'm not sure where to send the rather stern letter of complaint about the lack of summer too!?  Although perhaps i am being a little rash in my judgement because i seem to remember the weather being  uncharacteristically dry for Wimbledon??! urm!!!?? So now i'm not sure if i have an argument with Mother Nature, shame i was all fired up! although i am correct in thinking that it is July?? . . . well maybe Mother Nature is just taking a nap!  So how do i contact her, does she have an email address??  Today has been soooo cold, (although today was a really bad bad painful day!) that i actually considered putting the heating on, i didn't actually put it on but i did consider it very very seriously!! Any ideas!? 


My back has been ridiculously painful today even with my meds (including my new meds!) i should in theory be permanently stoned but they don't seem to help that much any more and i am really trying not to use the Diazipam because im like a zombie with them and i lose time! but i may have to consider it for tonight!  

So here i am half laying on the sofa and half dangling freely! not sure if this helps but i can't move and DH is asleep as is Amazing Son, so it's just Inherited dog (who is playing with my dangling leg!) not very helpful although it does tickle! I wonder if i could sleep like this?  I have been unable to make it up the stairs today so was expecting to be sleeping on the floor tonight! Although as i seem ill prepared for camping i am going to have to wake DH. . . must wake inherited dog to go and get my hard hat first . . . . 

NIGHT! 




Thursday, 12 July 2012

It's nearly My Party!



Morning Campers, yes i am in a very good mood, today is spectacularly good!  

Today is the start of my birthday celebrations and i am slowly slowly getting that little bit closer to the dreaded 40!!  

Anyway i was woken today at a ridiculous hour (although the sun was shining, but that just means its at least 2am!) by my delicious DH, Amazing Son and Inherited Dog, "get that dog of my Egyptian Cotton sheets!!" Good grief are you all getting into bed!??  . . . . . .  .  i'm not at my best first thing! 

I was presented with a lovely homemade card from Amazing Son with a poem the front and an application form for a "Special Bus!"  isn't he lovely!! on the inside.  

Anyway i am off to dress and go shopping because DH has taken today off and we are going to spend (not really!!) money!! (it just sounds nice to say!).

DH thinks i should write a book!? Scratching of head and trying not to frown! 

I think i need to think about this!




Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Oh look its the police!

OK I promised you the story of that time, aloooonnnggg time ago when i was arrested! . . . . 


OK grab your cuppa and make yourselves comfortable because well one of us should be, what i'm about to tell you is not pretty!! . . . 


I had been to a party, that turned into one of those weekenders, where Vodka was the star guest and nobody thought to eat because hey its a PARTY!!! 

Well after drinking vodka for the better part of 2 days i found my dribbly drunken self at the train station trying to make my way home so that I could try and get ready for work the following day!! Using a pillar to hold myself upright i managed to look semi-normal, so long as you didn't talk to me; and that's when i saw him, that bloke i see around from time to time, not exactly a friend but. . mmmme what's his name, asking me if i wanted a lift back home because he was going that way, feeling like i had won the lottery i quickly and gratefully accepted, although i think it necessary to mention that had Jack the Ripper offered me a lift home at this point i would have accepted just so i had somewhere to sit!  So there i was being led to whatshisnames car, wishing i could walk in a straight line, thankful that at any moment now i wouldn't have to think, that the responsibility of getting me home was being handed over to someone else.  I could happily concentrate on being drunk!!! (the things you do when your young (oh i was young!!)) and soooo bloody stupid!

Anyway there was someone else in the back seat - and i know i know him, but i am unsure who to this day it was.  So we drive and smoke, (i did then!!) and after being in the car for about half hour or so whatshisname pulls in, jumps out saying "be back in a minute!!" and disappears into a house on the corner.    I was just throwing my ciggie out of the window when both me and person beside me started to hear sirens! OHhhh what's going on?? Someone's in trouble!! The sirens were getting louder and louder and we started looking around because whoever was in trouble was in this direction.  What's going on??  When all of a sudden police cars swing round the corner screech to a halt around the car, the car that we are in!! (HUH!?) with me hanging out of the window saying this is like a clip out of "The Bill" and it must have been the alcohol in me that made me shout "go and do some real police work!!" hanging my head in shame,  i know but as i said i was young!!

The police started shouting at us through a megaphone, "Put your hands in the air and step out of the car!!" WHAT, ARE THEY TALKING TO US?? Sobering up very quickly, me and the other person look at each other and both say, where's whatshisname?? 

We slowly step out of the car with our hands in the air! surreal! i think i might have started crying spouting something about wanting my daddy!! (embarrassing!) 

We were HANDCUFFED! turns out there was drugs in the boot, the car was stolen and it had fake number plates on and had i not been so drunk i would have noticed that it had had a very bad spray job! oh poo!!!

All i wanted was to go home, but i find myself being put in the back of a police car, still handcuffed!!! crying with a very bad hangover.  So i was arrested for being in possession of a stolen car and having a lot of drugs in the boot!!  But officer i don't even TAKE drugs, and this is not my car. I sang like a canary! I told them what i knew about whatshisname, although i don't thing i was very helpful.  Not many people get christened Whatshisname!  I was interviewed and fingerprinted!! I was generally a good girl as far as breaking the law was concerned and this experience was enough to make me reconsider any life of crime i might have been considering!!!  Terrified!! i knew then and there I was no Bonnie!  

The Police though were very nice to me, i don't remember seeing the other one again, and i had to stay in a cell for a little while but they kept bringing me in cups of very bad tea and letting me smoke while they very kindly smoked my ciggies too!!!  I can vaguely remember eating a cold MacDonalds too!  But when they close the door and it makes that hollow bang and then its just you is very very scary! Thank goodness they knew i had nothing to do with it and was in the wrong place at the wrong time but they had to go through the motions and paperwork with me.  

I was released without charge but i received a stern telling off and told to by all means have a drink but to do so safely and stay with a friend, mine was still at the party!! Yes Officer! of course officer! nodding vigorously!!

I went to my parents house and to tell my dad! and i kid you not i would rather have been back in the cell! 

Friday, 6 July 2012

Behind Bars!


It's 8ish on Friday morning, Amazing Son has gone to school, (frowning and pouting at me because i wouldn't let him ride his bike to school because of the torrential down-pouring of rain!!) and my argumentative DH (not with me!!) has plodded off to work!  So yet again it is the responsibility of Inherited Dog and I to keep the homestead safe and warm, a responsibility we do not take lightly!!

Oh well better put the kettle on!

For some reason known only to my Darling DH, he has requested a stew for dinner - ??? do you think i should tell him its the summer ??? - so like the dutiful wife that i am  . . . . stew it is!! It is beginning to smell lovely!  I am expecting the Virgin Man (who by the way told me that my house looked like a showhome and he very much liked it! he has very good taste!! (Why Thank You Mr Virgin Man!) and a man to come and service my sofa this morning and like buses they turn up late and together so at the moment i have a strange man in my bedroom (!!) and another strange (seriously, he really was very strange and well frankly quite odd!) man in my lounge (!) and i had to gently suggest that he took his shoes off when he walked on my carpet in big wet workman boots!! Seriously reaching for my metaphorical gun!! (so wish it was real sometimes).  Inherited Dog was behind bars (we bought a child gate so that he can't jump up at everyone that comes in the house or run his lovely muddy paws through my lovely shiny house, although i don't think he's as impressed with his captivity as i am! so that is my morning . . . . . running (OK you got me  . . walking (crawling)!) up and down the stairs like the proverbial yoyo!


The Virgin man was lovely and teased me about the strange man who was inspecting my sofa (!) (the things people do for money??) he was holding a clipboard scratching his head when i walked in to ask him if he wanted a cuppa?  I have to say i was quite releived when he said he had all the information he required and off he went saying that he would be in touch!! OK, bye then, drive safely!!!

So it is now 11.37am and i have nearly been writing this post for 4 hours and i have to say it doesn't look like 4 hours work to me?? Not that i see it as work but you know what i mean!

I'm going to go now because i've forgotten what i was writing about in the first place!! Seriously having a blonde moment!

Chat soon x

** Oh by the way (have you noticed i sign off differently now?  i no longer ask if anyone is reading me because i know people are! Thank you and have a great day)

***Oh the title of this post is behind bars which reminds me of the time i was arrested, i must tell you about that sometime!

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Really . . . i'd love too!





It's been about a week since we last spoke.




For me it has been a hard week, DH and I have been trying to get all the paperwork up to date for the business because we need to get our accounts to the Accountant soon! DH has been so busy with work that we just haven't had a chance to get organised until now! MY BLOG MY EXCUSES!! Which i suppose is a good thing with the work being busy.  Although we need to get the quotes done!!! So i have been cracking the old faithful proverbial whip!! which strangely he likes!! Who knew hahhahaha!!!  

I have been feeling bad and just a little bit guilty recently, because since i damaged my back, (which by the way we have been told it was not a prolapsed disc but advanced DDD! YAY finally we can give it a name! Good to meet you!! Actually no not so got to know you?! but more about that in a minute so hang fire!!)(note to self do not forget to talk about DDD!)  Just as i'm writing this I noticed that i am frowning and mentally scolding myself, I am trying not to frown and stop the damage to my face!!

Anyway back to the feeling guilty, (well i am Catholic!!) since i damaged my back i have not worked so do not feel like i pull my weight and whilst i still financially help support us, i don't get up and go out to work anymore, I get to stay in the warm or sit in the garden (when we have some sun!) i pretty much get to do what i want to do when i want to do it, as long as my body allows me (which after 11am it normally doesn't!).  Unfortunately my consultant told me that they do not do back transplants and so i need to realise that i will never be who i was and that with exercise and medication (18 tablets a day!) i can manage it! BUT when my body needs to stop i must stop and I MUST do little and often not lots and lots and lots in one day!!! which is generally (hanging my head in shame!!) my favourite.  I have no idea how to relax or sit still.  I have absolutely no right being a size 18.  I know, WHAT A FATTY!!! sadly two years ago i was two sizes littler! (stop frowning!!)  

So anyway i feel bad for DH and if i'm honest there is a little bit of the green eyed monster in there because i can go a whole week without speaking to anyone other than DH or Amazing Son and DH is soo active and gets to talk to lots of different people every day!! Show off!!

So we have decided, actually the business has dictated that other than the week we are away in August, DH can not take any other time off because well things are tough! which is hard for him, although there is an element of "i love it" in there.  DH and I (although DH will tell you it was all him!!) have worked very hard to get the business up and running, although yes DH has put an awful lot more hours in than i have! It is definitely his other woman which is ok! This is the only affair he is allowed! 

So have you been watching Wimbledon?  I have every day and i have screamed my house down shouting at and for various players, we had to go to a meeting last night and i paid no attention to what anyone was saying because i was too interested in watching and screaming at Andy Murray!! What a match!! yayayayay!! for the English Scotsman!! English when suits and Scots when suits!! HA!!

Its my Birthday next week and DH has asked me to dinner, dressing up dinner with no children, in a proper restaurant with proper cutlery!! without Amazing Son?? YES!! First time in about 10 years - shall i say yes or no?? 

Speak soon x