Friday, 22 November 2013

Is that a DRESS in your wardrobe????


My Dress! 
DH and I went out Christmas shopping earlier this week and I, me, ME bought a dress!! For anyone that knows me this is a BIG DEAL! In fact i can honestly tell you that in my Adult life i have owned four dresses, each worn only once!  I shall say it again for anyone that might not have been paying particular attention, I BOUGHT A DRESS, AND I felt like a .... (not sure what the word is) Urm I think I felt like a GIRL! and not just a any girl, but a SEXY GROWN UP LADY!  my head is now singing "Hey Sexy Lady lalalalalalala  da lalal!!" enough of that singing business, I can't even sing!!  

OH  look there it is ......... that's my dress, ohhh head in hands with a dopey look sigh! isn't it lovely! Statement not question!!

Anyway we bought other bits and pieces, we popped into John Lewis to say hi to both Chanel and Liz Earle, they were both fine, I am getting a new bottle of Chanel for Christmas...... YAY! love it love it love it!

It was DH's birthday a little while ago and my gift to him was a new pair of trainers.

We have been looking and looking and looking but couldn't find any he liked! Have you noticed its like that.... when you either have an idea of what you want or you have the money in your pocket to buy it you can NEVER find what your looking for! it must be incredibly frustrating for DH, but I guess it means that we will just have to keep looking and shopping (!!!) until he finds what he's looking for, shopmobility it is then!!!

Have I mentioned my mother visited recently?? no, well at least I know what I shall be talking about next time......... cheerio!

Does anyone read me?  

Monday, 21 October 2013

Barbie Pink Spider Tales!



My nails are Pink.... Barbie Pink, I have decided that this is my new look!

This is NOT the spider, you may still come visit! 
I came to this conclusion this morning after getting up, for a coffee and my meds with DH and kissing my most Amazing Son cheerio for the school day, I went upstairs to go back to bed, my body aching and my head was swimming because of the newly introduced drugs into my system when I saw it, brazen, just sitting there, ON MY LOVELY INVITING "COME TO BED" BED, I could practically see it laughing at me, almost baiting me!  . . . . the ugliest and most hideous of creatures, it installs fear straight through me ....... it was a SPIDER, a great big hairy spider, sat on my lovely bed! HOW BLOODY DARE IT!  

OK OK so maybe it wasn't as big as the one in the photo but it WAS big...honest! ... SO with a level head and shaking hands, clutching my stick for defence, I slowly (so as not to frighten it away) went into the en suite so find something for it to fit into so that I could dispose, (no I will not go into any further detail as to what dispose means!!!) of it, I came back just a few seconds later clutching my TISSUE!!!! (Don't look like that, its all I could find!), to find the ugliness had gone ..... I mean vanished, poof, nowhere to be seen! not only was it ugly; it was a magician too!!  How do I deal with that then?!


After screaming, I did what any fair minded, disabled, crippled with pain, sensible middle aged (??mmme need to think about that one!) LADY would do, I PANICKED!!

Then after panicking I stripped the bed, I moved furniture, (well slightly!) I polished and vacuumed with room within an inch of its life,  I could not find it anywhere, so I kept looking, under the bed, in the draws, behind the draws. . . . .  I keep an orderly minimalistic home so there's really not that many places it could have gone, so I'm stumped, (technical term!!) where has it gone!! I shall be forever looking for it now! Do you do that??


Anyway I never found the spider, I think I scared it off!! but in the process of moving, cleaning and fussing I found my lovely Barbie Pink Nail Varnish that I bought last year and forgotten all about and now as my nails are looking particularly healthy, while I half sat and half lay there on the floor (elegantly!!) holding the nozzle of the vacuum in one hand after cleaning under the bed, beads of sweat forming on my brow very attractively, no place left untouched, (I should really have joined the army!!) I painted my nails and they look, in my humble opinion (and DH's who has since popped home to make me a coffee (lovely man!) expecting to find his wife but in her place a crazed spider hunter!) very, as my auntie used to say snazzy! 

Oh well I shall put everything away when I can move and my nails are dry.  Might be here a while, DH is taking us out to dinner later to celebrate me not being in bed!  Little does he know that as soon as I can move and my nails are dry that is exactly where I am going! 

Nighty night! 



Saturday, 19 October 2013

The Lost Week!

I've been in bed since Tuesday afternoon (i think) i find it kind of funny that i have lost all sense of time!  I'm relying on AS and DH more and more and the odd thing is i don't think they mind, although obviously i don't indulge all of my wants or whims because they'd be running around like headless chickens if i did but more to the point if i did i'd probably be asleep by the time they got back to me with whatever my want was at the particular time! Yes it really is that bad!

The Doctor increased my meds, because i was unable to move and when i did it was excruciatingly painful and i spent an awful afternoon crying popping diazepam with my other meds in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, so now i'm on a ridiculous amount of medications and they're absolutely knocking me sideways.  My skin has become incredibly dry and i look like an extra from the Walking Dead and i'm sleeping 18/19 hours a day! One of the only things that all this sleep is having a positive effect on is my nails.... wow they look very healthy, unlike my personal hygiene! Oh my Goodness, i shall say it for the boys!  i'm so sorry but I smell!! I smell really bad!! I'm just not awake enough to have a bath and i certainly cant have a shower, i cant life my legs that high anymore.  Amazing Son did assist me with the whole smelling and having a bath yesterday, or was it the day before..... i forgot!! that about sums it up really! 

I had a dental appointment at some point this week and I know they phoned and cancelled it, they beat me to it, and i know that we arranged a further appointment but your guess is as good as mine as to when it is! I will be phoning on Monday i think! I never thought i would ever say this but i wish they would hurry up and install this stairlift because the stairs are becoming more and more of a threat.  You know when you watch the horror movies with a corridor and the corridor is normal and then it gets longer and longer until the door at the end is tiny well that's how I see my stairs now!  i guess they'll do them when they can, there must be people out there that have a much greater need than me, maybe its similar to a ticket system, and there are lots of people in front of me!

DH thought he was Fred!
We went to a party last Saturday.  It was at our club.  We dressed up in our Sunday best and i even put make up on! i know DH must have thought his luck was in!!! Anyway the music was really good, they did a lot of 50's, 60's and 70's.  AS was, I think slightly bored but DH and I danced, a slow romantic dance where he held me close (and AS took my stick away from me!!!) a conspiracy i hear you say, well i will be ganged up on like that ever day!! DH and I giggled like kids and he put his arms around me and told me he would take care of me.  have i mentioned how lucky i am and what an amazing family i have!  I might have a back that is crippling me and flaky skin (temporarily!!) but i have the best son and husband in the world and well what else does a girl need??

not us but you get the picture!


DH got extremely drunk and for the first time in about three years i had quite a few Jacks and Coke, just to take the edge of, and it was drizzling when we left at about 1AM ish and we walked the 10 minute walk home which took well over an hour because DH wanted a kebab!! really lower the tone, i spend my days telling you how amazing my husband is and making you all jealous and then blow it with the revelation of a drunken kebab!  Will it change your opinion more if i told you we all had one!?? DRUNKEN KEBAB life is good!  lol x x 

Friday, 27 September 2013

Acceptance!

My tomatoes look very sad, i think the day has come and gone when i should have uprooted and discarded them but i'm not as mobile as i was even this time last year and to be honest with you i just can't bend down to them, just like i can no longer do so many things.  

I had an appointment during the week with a consultant who asked me to go through everything from start to now so she had a complete picture of how medically and emotionally I am.

TRAUMATIC!

By the time DH and I came out of the room we had reminded ourselves of everything i can now NO LONGER do! and i swear at that moment we were both gripped with utter despair but it quickly passed and we devise ways of doing things that help combat but i've not been able to shake the grip completely, it suddenly dawned on me that i am disabled and what that means!  i think i am (or might be) beginning to accept my new life and what i can do! i think i would prefer to focus on what i can do instead of what i used to be able to do or what i can't do, does that make sense! 

But my AS is growing up, my stepchildren don't want to come over because they too are growing up, DH works full time, but his knees really hurting him now so .... i have no idea what the future will bring! where we will be in a few years and how we will be managing!

Life is very hard and i need to find something that i can do to make me feel useful again! I need a purpose! 

Our Free Weekend!

I'm sat in the garden with a cup of Tea perched (backs hurting) at the garden table on one of the matching chairs, i don't care that my bum is hurting from the very cold slates, which is making my back ache but i'm determined to squeeze ever ounce of summer time there is to have out of the garden and the sun and well everything else summery.  

Amazing son has gone on an adventure weekend with the school and isn't back until Sunday afternoon. So while the cats away . . . . .  we aren't normally the mice but on this occasion it works! 

What wonderful plans do we have for the weekend, you know the one weekend in a million when Amazing Son is away and there are absolutely no children to answer to I hear you ask??

You know how it is .... if only we had a weekend to ourselves, we'd : - 

  1. Have sex in the afternoon in the lounge or in our room but with the door open without the TV on unnaturally loud!!* well we might!
  2. We'd go out to a fancy restaurant and treat ourselves! although Amazing Son is very good and we go to nice restaurants with him anyway because he knows how to behave!
  3. I can't think of anymore suggestions but you get the idea . . . . .
Well sex is definitely off the cards, my back is absolutely to painful however, i have heard that it is very good exercise . . . .

DH will be home soon and we are going for a panani and a flat white! life is good, while we no longer have date night because i cant walk for long and because AS's rowing schedule changed, we do still kiss and hold hands.  

I think i might go and get a blanket and snuggle on the sofa! x 




*Amazing Son if your reading this dad and I do NOT have sex! :)

Monday, 26 August 2013

Sleeplessness

I'm so tired!  I've been laying here in hopeful silence waiting for sleep to sneak up on me!  But alas it snuck right by me completely,  although I'm having to squint one eye closed to see what I'm writing! Proving that my eyes are as I suspected ready for the land of nod!  But nothing!  When I close my eyes they snap open as if they're frightened they might miss something deliciously important, something monumentally earth shattering!

How do you make yourself sleep!  Meditation,  I'm getting the hang of it, as I've been using and learning techniques in my pain management classes over the past two years,  but I haven't got the focus tonight because of the stress of trying to sleep!  So what's left???

I might start chanting !  But what to chant and how?  Up until this point I've just concluded that chanting was glorified shouting  and wailing.  I am willing to try anything once,  sleep being the main, only, objective here so ...  To chant!  I shall let you know how that goes with the neighbours as its 3.02am!


Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Getting to know you!



 
 The end of summer is fast approaching and the sun has that end of summer sheen to its heat, the kind that wraps you up and gives you a warm familiar snuggle!
This is most certainly, without a shadow of a doubt, THE best time of year!  Colours are vivid and the grass smells fresher than any other time of year!  and..... wait for it .... the Conkers are coming, which means only one thing........ conker fights with Amazing Son!  Yay!  I am very competitive but then so is he!!  hhmme I wonder who he gets that from! DH I think!

Hasn't the summer been amazing? The best for a very long time!! I had to get the fans down from the loft ..... OK I had to instruct Amazing Son and DH to get them down from tihe loft!! HAPPY! 

DH and Amazing Son have worked worked worked their buts off while I have been lazing at home doing well very important stuff!! Occasionally I lunch with the girls or grab a coffee or peppermint Tea (yes i still love them!) on the way to check in with my new friends at the club!  I'm in a club!!! or take Inherited Dog gingerly to the park for a picnic! that's when Amazing Son is around because as you know my mobility is rather poor!  and occassionaly i stay on the sofa because well i just cant get of it! DH has worked so much (which is good as it means the business is doing well!) however it also means that friends come and go without seeing him! unless they stay over which is obviously a popular choice but he's been working most weekends and is totally frazzled!  We've not had a holiday yet because well honestly we just can't afford it BUT we are still going to have fun although DH really does need a break!! Fingers crossed for the lottery on Friday!  then HOLIDAY here we come!!

OK so what other news have I for you!  I've been away soooo long it hard to remember!

DH had an op on his knee way back in January and whilst the surgery has healed and healed well he is still struggling very much, he even took time off away from work because he just couldn't weight bear which anyone that knows my DH knows that he has to be v ill indeed to take time off! he just doesn't do it, but my reason for mentioning it is that its 7 months later and he is still not fully recovered!  His leg appears to have lost weight and to be thinner than the other and he still has pain.  i think i need to keep an eye on him! He is just such a lovely man, i am blessed really and should be grateful to his first wife for discarding him, her loss was my gain as they say!  but i am obviously not as good a person as i would like because whilst I do have feelings for the woman they are not for gratitude! 

More news . . . .

Ahh yes the Regatta!! Amazing Son raced in the regatta and he was brilliantly amazing! our friends came up to assist us with the cheering (obviously parent code for embarrassing him) we had a wonderful weekend so much so that we are already organizing how, what and where for next year!! Excellent!!

Unfortunately friends go home and leave us to rattle around in our house! We have made lots of changes to the house because I'm no longer able to get upstairs every night to go to bed or for whatever reason!  so we have moved the office upstairs and Amazing son has moved into the big room so we have gone down to a very large two bed house!  Downstairs we have a snug for me with a comfy chair and blanket for me to sleep on when the stairs are just too much.  BUT the man came to measure me today for a chair lift.  I have been reliably informed that it will be installed in no time at all.  Oh good!! cant bloody wait!  when I stop laughing at my body (self) i get quite cross with it (me).  Our beautiful En Suite is to be ripped out and a walk in shower / wet room is to be installed there, because i can't bathe without assistance, (DH helps with that ..... hmme bubbles, lovely!)) oh and I'm getting a smart loo, it washes and dries and all sorts! Get me! so that's the house and our changes! 

I've spent a lot of time in the garden during the summer, nursing my tomatoes as usual, although not as much as i would have liked because we have the worst neighbours with screamy children and when we approached them with the would you mind asking your children to perhaps not scream all day we were told that their children are encouraged to make as much noise as they want!! WTF!! do we not live in a community where you consider other people??  obviously not, but I think she is a bully!

I've started seeing a psychologist to help with me to come to terms with not getting better, which we've come to realise is the crux of my problem .... I have been programmed from when i was little, that you only take time off from work if you're sick and if  your sick you take time of work, you rest, you get better and then go back to work, you do not go shopping or go to lunch with friends or etc.... ... So I have been waiting in limbo (for want of a better analogy!) waiting for my condition to fix itself so that i can get back to my life, and stop feeling guilty and slinking about, because I'm not coughing or sniffling . . . obviously i am just starting to realise that this is actually my life . . . I am disabled and i struggle daily, i am no longer able to dress myself on my own or lift a kettle to make myself a cuppa, i am slowly understanding that that part of my life is over and that this is my new life, I must decide what i want to do and move forward, get out of my Limbo!!  

I tell myself every day that I am so lucky because I am getting a second chance to do things again, and not very many people get a second chance do they? 

So life is still a work in progress but we are so happy together . . . .







Tuesday, 2 July 2013

If you ask God for Patience do you think he grants you patience or do you think he gives you an opportunity to be patient???




We had our house spiritually cleansed and WOW what a difference!  I mean the atmosphere has CHANGED!  I'm not sure that I can describe it or even if I want to go into too much detail but ......


The house has felt odd for some time now, and we have been odd and negative in it, which is probably the cause of the whole thing!  BUT maybe not  . . . . .  Since DH's parents died, we've both been made redundant (more than once!) I've been registered disabled and struggle to do very much of anything (arrrgh frustration and 22 tablets of all shapes and sizes, colours and uses - a day yes a day!!!, I shall tell you more about the chair lift later), DH has started up and is managing a growing business which is now a limited company (although we have yet to turn a profit, although we haven't missed a mortgage payment yet!!) well done you Baby!, We have lost more family and friends, dealt with family dramas' on both sides! (if you read my blog then you'll know what I'm talking about and if you don't then start reading!!! :-) )  and well pretty much the phrase "if it can, it will" walked through the front door, climbed on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn and pretty much made itself at home!

So anyway we have a spiritual friend that we have known for a few years and after tentatively asking how it works we decided we really had no choice, horrible was seeping through the walls - turns out it was someone else's horrible but horrible has now left the building together with its negative harmful thoughts!

So anyway, DH and I had to say an Invocation with our hands together, speaking together, crystals were placed in the corners of the room and we asked for protection against anyone that might want to harm us either by words or by thoughts.  

We went to bed that night at a reasonable 11ish and got up out of it at 1.45pm the following day!  it was just so lovely and cuddly and familiar that I couldn't remember why or when we'd stopped doing it to begin with.  Amazing Son climbed into bed with us on occasion and it was the most loving, heart felt weekend we have had in a long time!! and that was four days ago and its not changed!  we both feel healed and our lovely house is healing too but we must keep healing.  

We are thinking of both having some spiritual healing separately, we have been through soooo much and we can already see the effect the cleansing has had on us and our lovely house, getting rid of the negativity that is bound to be woven around our hearts like ivy has to be a good thing!   

We say the Invocation if we feel tense or upset but basically whatever was is now not - so to speak!  

Love and happiness are now the way forward, grieving and mourning a thing of the past, cleansing and healing a thing of the future! 

I know it's great isn't it! We need to work at it but . . . .  

Tuesday, 18 June 2013

Are We There Yet?



I'm going to be 40 in a few weeks!!!


I assumed that by the time i was 40 i would know all there is to know, I would have the answers to the universe and all would become clear.  I would be wise enough to give life saving valuable advice!! (seriously!!!!)  I would be confident in my appearance because I would have grown into myself (like a puppy who has big paws i would grow in to mine, although that analogy is quite poor because i think i likened myself to a puppy!) and have a calm confident exterior that commanded respect and awe! I know nothing of any use anyway! no lifesaving instructions although i could talk anyone through opening a particularly difficult bottle of wine or on the making of a light as a feather melt in my mouth lemon drizzle cake! anyway back on point!  

I would always know what to say because i had made all the terrible horrible humiliating foot in mouth comments when i was younger and because i am an intelligent, if a little slow on the uptake sometimes girl, i learn from my mistakes and take others advice with me......do i heck, did i mention that i'm arrogant and hideously painfully stubborn.  Basically i thought that by the time i hit the big four oh i would have a clue!  I think i shall put that down to naivety. LOL 

The sad truth is that I feel like Julia Roberts in "Run Away Bride", you know where she has no idea how she likes her eggs only difference other than the obvious (i'm not a world renown actor..... can't think of any other differences!!!! ) well although i do know how i like my eggs; but my self knowledge ;pretty much ends there! i like scrambled.  Well apart from the absolute knowledge that i would take a bullet for my family and friends. Really is this it?  i have found myself asking, do we just kind of bounce around knowing nothing until the day we pop our clogs and fly of this mortal plain.

When I was little I thought my mum knew everything and that she was deliberately not sharing it with me because she was trying to teach me one of life's amazing lessons, turns out she didn't know either! 

Since DH's parents left I have found myself trying to understand God and my faith a little more, I have always felt that I was being guided and pushed in the "right" direction but now I have found myself wondering what happens and we're do we go when we You know GO!  I wonder will everyone I have ever loved be waiting for me in a line, as if I was collecting a medal where people are patting you on the back and wishing you well!!! Or is there just nothing, a big black nothing???  I get scared of leaving people I love behind and wonder if i will ever see them again.     

Think I need a hug! 

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Becoming Invisable!

I'm scared!
 
I'm having an operation on my back in a couple of days and i'm really scared! 
 
I'm so fed up of whining and wingeing about pain and aides and whellchairs and feeling like a burden on people.  My lovely neighbour knocked this morning to see if i was ok and did i need anthing from town, she's in her late 70's!!!  . . . . I used to be a really fun person to be around but pain changes you (or at least me, perhaps that proves that i am a weak person!) and twists how you communicate and feel.
 
Pain is ugly and makes me ugly . . .  it makes me jealous of not having my life and I realised that i was becoming resentful of people that love me and care for me because they are free to come and go as they please, with NO pain!  whereas i am confined to our house, even though it is a lovely house, i find myself moaning about everything, the neighbours are too noisy, the house is too big, i can't do this, i can't do that etc. . .  all because I am unable to do the things that i was able to do before i broke. 
 
DH says he loves me regardless and i truely believe him but it is very difficult to be positive when all i feel are negative emotions which is the opposite of my personality.   I was the girl that was always smiling, i saw amazing before horrible, i wanted good and so i saw good much to my detrement because i just didn't see bad things! innocent and niave..... i'd give anything to be that person now!!!
 
Anyway i went to the doctors who told me i am depressed!  needed a degree for that one huh!? 
 
Now how to become happy again . . . .  .  . .   

Saturday, 23 March 2013

Don't rely on tomorrow, love well today!



"When you need me but do not want me then i must stay.  When you want me but no longer need me then i have to go."  Nanny McPhee said this, so not one of the great literary artists of our time, but isn't it ironic that it is so true! 

The people you love and enjoy being with never stay, not for long anyway!  People come and go in and out of our lives, with their stories and wisdom's of how life should be lived.  I have always believed that people have messages for each other and that there is no randomness.  I think that people never just bump into another person, but that each of us teach others lessons and because some people take longer to learn things people stay in their lives for longer etc.  Our children for example stay in our lives until they learn how to look after their own needs and how to stand on their own two feet (OK in theory!!) friends either long term or acquaintances are there to teach us something or for us to teach them something.  I believe that there is a path that we are all born to walk!  

Does anyone out there understand the chaos of words i throw on the paper (screen!)??? Please let me know!  

I will be forty in a few months and for some reason my mortality and that of my loved ones is becoming precious to me, in the past it was something that rather arrogantly i was dismissive about, because i would, of course, live forever, but what if i don't??  Please don't misunderstand me, i don't think i'm about to take a stroll to the other side but on the other hand DH and i have since 2009 been to 9 funerals of friends and loved ones!  the last only last week for our friends 18 year old daughter.  So maybe this is why i am writing with an unusual negative flow or maybe some melancholy is creeping in with the same uncertainty i feel about everything at present! 

My dad never gives advice, nor did DH's father for that matter.  DH's father would just stand there sipping his coffee casually gazing at you over the cup!  this is an art!! one that took many years of intensive dedication to learn,  the art of saying nothing yet filling the room with words.  DH's father could do this with the ease of a man that had been saying nothing for years yet giving some wonderfully insightful advice.  My father is more of a "cuddle will make it better" man, taking the approach of quoting proverbs and life stories.  

note to self .... if your head falls off do not look to the internet for assistance but call an ambulance or pick your head up and take both you and your head straight to casualty.  

I have no idea what this post is about or what message i am trying (albeit badly!) to send to you - other than my selfish need to regurgitate the past in a vain hope of laying it to rest!  it felt very important to write and say the things i have said although i must admit this is not the post i had intended writing this morning.  The post has written itself, for what purpose?? who knows!!! 

Have a good day, stay safe and don't forget to tell your loved ones you love them because we have no idea tomorrow will ever arrive so love well today x x 

  

Wednesday, 23 January 2013

Red Red Wine! It couldn't hurt!

Well Hello . . . .

I'm sat at the dining table watching DH and Amazing Son, listening to Inherited Dog whine and winge (he's been in the garden running in the mud so not allowed in the house!) Poor Doggy trapped behind a baby gate, ohhh the humiliation of it!!!  

Amazing Son has come home from school and bestowed upon me the compliment of a lifetime . . .  all because Andrea Bocelli is playing in the kitchen and a bottle of red (FOR THE FOOD! don't frown!!!) is open on the side and Spaghetti is cooking in the oven, he said that the house smells and sounds like an Italian Restaurant - what an absolutely fantastic thing to say, I love you Amazing Son and am not embarrassed to say it!  i shall (if allowed to consume enough of the Red) shout it from the rooftop! Ok maybe a little poetic licence there but i do love him! 

Very short post this evening because dinner must be served! Yummy!!!!!

Enjoy your evening! 

Sunday, 20 January 2013

Welcome to 2013!

Happy New Year!

My first post of the year - I feel it only fair to warn you, and sadly acknowledge to myself, that you shouldn't get your hopes up - just because this is my first post of the year it doesn't mean its going to be anymore interesting, entertaining or amazing than any other post! I have not (as yet!) been inspired by the Enid Blyton books i read as a child.  Although my lovely naive Amazing Son tells me that on occasion I (me!!) am funnier than Miranda . . .  I feel like i have arrived, had the door opened for me and entered the building, so to speak!  

It's been a while since i last wrote to you and since then Christmas has come and gone (far too quickly but i say that every year!)  DH yet again spoilt me rotten, more about that later!  New Year was spent in warmer climates (again!) which is beginning to become a habit and we have now been saturated in snow! lovely!  

Day 8.  I am sadly in need of a Wahoo!! Day (lovingly named by DH!).  All of my meds (and if you remember i am on loads, make me constipated! if you have never suffered from constipation then you are blessed!) as i have no idea about the rules of blogging, whether there is a bloggers etiquette!! (a list of what can be blogged about or not?!) i feel my bowel movements (or lack of!!!) is fair game! I tell you this because i might at some point unwittingly wander into the un-chartered territory of talking complete rubbish and if this happens i feel it only necessary to tell you in advance i have a note from my doctor (so to speak!!)  For those of you who are scratching your head and wondering blankly what a A Wahoo! Day is, i will tell you it is when my body decides that what goes in must come out and that my house should immediately become a natural disaster area, be cordoned off with the yellow tape (used in CSI!) Until someone in a spacesuit who walks incredibly slowly declares it safe and the nation can relax their shoulders, mop its brow with the hankies they were given by distant relatives at Christmas, and wait with baited breathe for the next onslaught to begin, the process normally only takes a day or two and the cycle continues! 

It is beautiful! 

We gave each other money for Christmas this year, (DH and I) and we went out on Christmas Eve to spend our pennies.  It was a fun filled day from start to finish.   Although very long!   We bought some lovely bits, clothes, shoes, new walking stick!!! (although it is very pretty!!) housey stuff! .......  We were just about to come home when i saw the most perfect candlesticks for the dining table.....  We went to Church when we got back which ended the day beautifully.  Christmas Day came and went (just us this year, a first for many years now!) before we packed our bags and headed for a sunnier climate, again using the special assistance at the Airport, memories of how amazing the service was in November, still fresh in our naive heads because i have only one word to use and that is catastrophic! from beginning to end.  


It was such a horrible experience that i wish i could walk the length of the airport and take myself to the gate!  We quickly put the whole horrid travel experience behind us and tried to enjoy our break but it took longer than normal to unwind this 
I'm a spoilt girl really! 
time.  DH says this was a true reflection of how much we needed the holiday!  The second week was much more enjoyable, we were relaxed and felt free,the first time in a long time.  These past three years or so have been so hard on us and its only now really that its over that we can assess the damage and begin to heal.   We were recognised by some of the locals and greeted with open arms and kisses, this was lovely!  Spending New Year in a different country other than your own was a strange experience initially whereas now it feels like coming home!  Being in the resort we stay in feels like home and the more we go the harder it is to come back!   But come back we did and on the plane coming home DH (who has now been promoted for this act alone!! to Most Amazing Grand Gesture Dashing Husband! although this may be too long for every day writing so may leave it at DH for now!) bought me a beautiful Pandora Bracelet (a purple leather one with a purple flower pendent and he bought a separate charm that says " I Love You with a heart in gold" (look that's it in the picture!) .....................

Major brownie points won with that purchase! Well Done you Most Amazing Grand Gesture Dashing Husband! oh yes far too much of a mouthful!  I do rather think i shall keep him! He bought me a bottle of Channel again too!  SPOILT BRAT hell yes! Keep it coming i say!

We bought Amazing Son a Onesie for Christmas (Don't be silly it was not his only pressie!)and although i am not a fanatical follower of fashion - anyone that knows me is nodding their heads like crazy people at the sheer thought but I love the idea of Amazing Son being in a babygro again!!! SAD!!!!  he looks fab in it with his new slipper boots with bobbles on! lovely!!! not particularly the sexy boyish look but still amazing son to me!!!

I am about to sign off for tonight but just want to mention Alice, she was a blogger like me except she was exceptionally brave, i never met her, just read her blog, but she touched my heart every time i read her.  I mention her because i received a notification whilst on holiday that she had passed away from the cancer that had been attacking her young body!  (i wont give you a capital letter and make you important! EVER!!) I cried when i heard the news and Alice this is a great platform for me to say, i never met you but you were inspirational to me, you made me laugh and even when you were being horribly damaged by cancer you never once felt sorry for yourself, which makes me feel slightly ashamed of myself! I hope when the pain of loosing you subsides your family see what i see, a beautiful brave brave girl who stood up to cancer and inspired people through her journey, i am proud to have had you in my circle of on line friends and hope that your family finds peace in your memory x x x


Seems like a good enough note to end on. Night night and sleep tight, i shall say a little pray for us all tonight x x