My tomatoes look very sad, i think the day has come and gone when i should have uprooted and discarded them but i'm not as mobile as i was even this time last year and to be honest with you i just can't bend down to them, just like i can no longer do so many things.
I had an appointment during the week with a consultant who asked me to go through everything from start to now so she had a complete picture of how medically and emotionally I am.
TRAUMATIC!
By the time DH and I came out of the room we had reminded ourselves of everything i can now NO LONGER do! and i swear at that moment we were both gripped with utter despair but it quickly passed and we devise ways of doing things that help combat but i've not been able to shake the grip completely, it suddenly dawned on me that i am disabled and what that means! i think i am (or might be) beginning to accept my new life and what i can do! i think i would prefer to focus on what i can do instead of what i used to be able to do or what i can't do, does that make sense!
TRAUMATIC!
By the time DH and I came out of the room we had reminded ourselves of everything i can now NO LONGER do! and i swear at that moment we were both gripped with utter despair but it quickly passed and we devise ways of doing things that help combat but i've not been able to shake the grip completely, it suddenly dawned on me that i am disabled and what that means! i think i am (or might be) beginning to accept my new life and what i can do! i think i would prefer to focus on what i can do instead of what i used to be able to do or what i can't do, does that make sense!
But my AS is growing up, my stepchildren don't want to come over because they too are growing up, DH works full time, but his knees really hurting him now so .... i have no idea what the future will bring! where we will be in a few years and how we will be managing!
Life is very hard and i need to find something that i can do to make me feel useful again! I need a purpose!