Monday, 21 October 2013

Barbie Pink Spider Tales!



My nails are Pink.... Barbie Pink, I have decided that this is my new look!

This is NOT the spider, you may still come visit! 
I came to this conclusion this morning after getting up, for a coffee and my meds with DH and kissing my most Amazing Son cheerio for the school day, I went upstairs to go back to bed, my body aching and my head was swimming because of the newly introduced drugs into my system when I saw it, brazen, just sitting there, ON MY LOVELY INVITING "COME TO BED" BED, I could practically see it laughing at me, almost baiting me!  . . . . the ugliest and most hideous of creatures, it installs fear straight through me ....... it was a SPIDER, a great big hairy spider, sat on my lovely bed! HOW BLOODY DARE IT!  

OK OK so maybe it wasn't as big as the one in the photo but it WAS big...honest! ... SO with a level head and shaking hands, clutching my stick for defence, I slowly (so as not to frighten it away) went into the en suite so find something for it to fit into so that I could dispose, (no I will not go into any further detail as to what dispose means!!!) of it, I came back just a few seconds later clutching my TISSUE!!!! (Don't look like that, its all I could find!), to find the ugliness had gone ..... I mean vanished, poof, nowhere to be seen! not only was it ugly; it was a magician too!!  How do I deal with that then?!


After screaming, I did what any fair minded, disabled, crippled with pain, sensible middle aged (??mmme need to think about that one!) LADY would do, I PANICKED!!

Then after panicking I stripped the bed, I moved furniture, (well slightly!) I polished and vacuumed with room within an inch of its life,  I could not find it anywhere, so I kept looking, under the bed, in the draws, behind the draws. . . . .  I keep an orderly minimalistic home so there's really not that many places it could have gone, so I'm stumped, (technical term!!) where has it gone!! I shall be forever looking for it now! Do you do that??


Anyway I never found the spider, I think I scared it off!! but in the process of moving, cleaning and fussing I found my lovely Barbie Pink Nail Varnish that I bought last year and forgotten all about and now as my nails are looking particularly healthy, while I half sat and half lay there on the floor (elegantly!!) holding the nozzle of the vacuum in one hand after cleaning under the bed, beads of sweat forming on my brow very attractively, no place left untouched, (I should really have joined the army!!) I painted my nails and they look, in my humble opinion (and DH's who has since popped home to make me a coffee (lovely man!) expecting to find his wife but in her place a crazed spider hunter!) very, as my auntie used to say snazzy! 

Oh well I shall put everything away when I can move and my nails are dry.  Might be here a while, DH is taking us out to dinner later to celebrate me not being in bed!  Little does he know that as soon as I can move and my nails are dry that is exactly where I am going! 

Nighty night! 



Saturday, 19 October 2013

The Lost Week!

I've been in bed since Tuesday afternoon (i think) i find it kind of funny that i have lost all sense of time!  I'm relying on AS and DH more and more and the odd thing is i don't think they mind, although obviously i don't indulge all of my wants or whims because they'd be running around like headless chickens if i did but more to the point if i did i'd probably be asleep by the time they got back to me with whatever my want was at the particular time! Yes it really is that bad!

The Doctor increased my meds, because i was unable to move and when i did it was excruciatingly painful and i spent an awful afternoon crying popping diazepam with my other meds in a desperate attempt to stop the pain, so now i'm on a ridiculous amount of medications and they're absolutely knocking me sideways.  My skin has become incredibly dry and i look like an extra from the Walking Dead and i'm sleeping 18/19 hours a day! One of the only things that all this sleep is having a positive effect on is my nails.... wow they look very healthy, unlike my personal hygiene! Oh my Goodness, i shall say it for the boys!  i'm so sorry but I smell!! I smell really bad!! I'm just not awake enough to have a bath and i certainly cant have a shower, i cant life my legs that high anymore.  Amazing Son did assist me with the whole smelling and having a bath yesterday, or was it the day before..... i forgot!! that about sums it up really! 

I had a dental appointment at some point this week and I know they phoned and cancelled it, they beat me to it, and i know that we arranged a further appointment but your guess is as good as mine as to when it is! I will be phoning on Monday i think! I never thought i would ever say this but i wish they would hurry up and install this stairlift because the stairs are becoming more and more of a threat.  You know when you watch the horror movies with a corridor and the corridor is normal and then it gets longer and longer until the door at the end is tiny well that's how I see my stairs now!  i guess they'll do them when they can, there must be people out there that have a much greater need than me, maybe its similar to a ticket system, and there are lots of people in front of me!

DH thought he was Fred!
We went to a party last Saturday.  It was at our club.  We dressed up in our Sunday best and i even put make up on! i know DH must have thought his luck was in!!! Anyway the music was really good, they did a lot of 50's, 60's and 70's.  AS was, I think slightly bored but DH and I danced, a slow romantic dance where he held me close (and AS took my stick away from me!!!) a conspiracy i hear you say, well i will be ganged up on like that ever day!! DH and I giggled like kids and he put his arms around me and told me he would take care of me.  have i mentioned how lucky i am and what an amazing family i have!  I might have a back that is crippling me and flaky skin (temporarily!!) but i have the best son and husband in the world and well what else does a girl need??

not us but you get the picture!


DH got extremely drunk and for the first time in about three years i had quite a few Jacks and Coke, just to take the edge of, and it was drizzling when we left at about 1AM ish and we walked the 10 minute walk home which took well over an hour because DH wanted a kebab!! really lower the tone, i spend my days telling you how amazing my husband is and making you all jealous and then blow it with the revelation of a drunken kebab!  Will it change your opinion more if i told you we all had one!?? DRUNKEN KEBAB life is good!  lol x x