Monday, 21 October 2013

Barbie Pink Spider Tales!

My nails are Pink.... Barbie Pink, I have decided that this is my new look!

This is NOT the spider, you may still come visit! 
I came to this conclusion this morning after getting up, for a coffee and my meds with DH and kissing my most Amazing Son cheerio for the school day, I went upstairs to go back to bed, my body aching and my head was swimming because of the newly introduced drugs into my system when I saw it, brazen, just sitting there, ON MY LOVELY INVITING "COME TO BED" BED, I could practically see it laughing at me, almost baiting me!  . . . . the ugliest and most hideous of creatures, it installs fear straight through me ....... it was a SPIDER, a great big hairy spider, sat on my lovely bed! HOW BLOODY DARE IT!  

OK OK so maybe it wasn't as big as the one in the photo but it WAS big...honest! ... SO with a level head and shaking hands, clutching my stick for defence, I slowly (so as not to frighten it away) went into the en suite so find something for it to fit into so that I could dispose, (no I will not go into any further detail as to what dispose means!!!) of it, I came back just a few seconds later clutching my TISSUE!!!! (Don't look like that, its all I could find!), to find the ugliness had gone ..... I mean vanished, poof, nowhere to be seen! not only was it ugly; it was a magician too!!  How do I deal with that then?!

After screaming, I did what any fair minded, disabled, crippled with pain, sensible middle aged (??mmme need to think about that one!) LADY would do, I PANICKED!!

Then after panicking I stripped the bed, I moved furniture, (well slightly!) I polished and vacuumed with room within an inch of its life,  I could not find it anywhere, so I kept looking, under the bed, in the draws, behind the draws. . . . .  I keep an orderly minimalistic home so there's really not that many places it could have gone, so I'm stumped, (technical term!!) where has it gone!! I shall be forever looking for it now! Do you do that??

Anyway I never found the spider, I think I scared it off!! but in the process of moving, cleaning and fussing I found my lovely Barbie Pink Nail Varnish that I bought last year and forgotten all about and now as my nails are looking particularly healthy, while I half sat and half lay there on the floor (elegantly!!) holding the nozzle of the vacuum in one hand after cleaning under the bed, beads of sweat forming on my brow very attractively, no place left untouched, (I should really have joined the army!!) I painted my nails and they look, in my humble opinion (and DH's who has since popped home to make me a coffee (lovely man!) expecting to find his wife but in her place a crazed spider hunter!) very, as my auntie used to say snazzy! 

Oh well I shall put everything away when I can move and my nails are dry.  Might be here a while, DH is taking us out to dinner later to celebrate me not being in bed!  Little does he know that as soon as I can move and my nails are dry that is exactly where I am going! 

Nighty night! 

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